Embracing the Flaw

To see flaw not as a burden but as advantage

To grow up differently to the others is not easy, people that born with unusual genetic disease, different physical conditions, or born into a financially struggling family can understand this. They see life as being unfair to them. They don’t get the opportunity others get easily, they don’t have the privilege like others. To live a “normal” life they have to show more effort than the others. Sometimes they feel frustrated with life because they’re so helpless in facing this condition.

Flaw is a perception

Your condition is a real thing, your flaw is only a matter of perception. You can see your condition as a flaw or you can just ignore it.

Almost everyone has experienced insecurity caused of their condition. Every condition is a flaw if we consider it as a flaw. A girl who grew up in a safe and prosperous family see an acne on her face as a flaw, but for a man working hard in the streets for his family, they see acne on his face, not as a flaw, they can easily ignore it because he got bigger thing to deal with.

So you can decide are you going to put much of your attention into your flaw or you can just ignore it.

Acceptance is the key

People with “flaws” mostly hate themselves and they barely taste happiness. They see happiness can only be achieved if they can get to the condition they wanted. They want happiness but they barely know the route to happiness. You can only be happy if you feel grateful and you can feel grateful if only you can accept your condition.

Accepting doesn’t mean you’re giving up. Accepting means you able to forgive yourself, you stop hating yourself or others, you can see the good in your condition. On the other side, you still working to overcome your condition. It means you accepting your condition and still taking your medication or you still work hard to get out of financial struggle. No point in hating yourself, It doesn’t solve anything.

After you can accept your condition you can live in peace, you feel no anger and hate towards your condition. Then you able to see the good in your condition. To be different than the others doesn’t mean your condition is worse than the others, sometimes it can benefit you.

We can learn about this from Lionel Messi. Lionel Messi is the best football player in the world, he won Ballon d’Or award (Best player of the year in the world) 6 times in his career (no one has won it more than Messi). If we see his physical condition, he’s a short footballer (170 cm, compared to the average of European players which is 185cm). It was a common knowledge to be able to compete in European football is to have a big body because it makes you stronger and you can beat opposition easily, but Messi has short body. And he didn’t quit so early, he trained hard and he makes his condition to be his own advantage. His small body might not able to do body charge against bigger opposition, but with his small body it makes him easy to maneuver and pass the opposition. With that playing style, he won his team multiple trophy and he has been awarded multiple awards in his career. That’s the proof that if you can see the good in your condition, you will be so grateful to have them.

Lionel Messi with his Ballon d’Or award collection (Sc: Forbes)

Even in the most frustrated situation we still have reasons to be grateful of our condition. We can learn from the case of a man in prophet Muhammad era, he’s a blind person but he’s happy with his condition, because for him, being a blind person avoid him to see forbidden thing that makes him a sinful person, so he’s happy because his condition makes him lessen his sins.

To be happy is to be grateful. We cannot be grateful for our condition if we cannot accept our condition. Gratitude is a simplest form of happiness because it requires zero effort and material. And happiness will come to you eventually if you feel content with your condition.

Focus on what you still have

People with “flaws” understand what it feels like to not have something. Because they have experienced not having what others usually have. People with no legs understand how hard to live without legs, and if they were given a pair of artificial legs they already have so much list to do with that legs.

When we lose something or not having something we will understand the worth of something. And we promise to ourselves if we have that then we will appreciate it and make the most of it. Sick people in bed will appreciate a healthy body and will be grateful for it if they acquire it. Meanwhile a lot of healthy people lulled with that blessing.

We don’t have to wait for blessings to be taken away from us just to tell us how to appreciate it. Appreciate everything we have and make the most of it. Sometimes we’re put our focus too much on thing that we don’t have, and we forget that we still own a lot.

In the end, stop complaining about our condition. Take a breath, look around at things we still have. A functional physical condition, a supportive family, a pack of generous friends. That thing we should pay attention to, things that we should be grateful for and make the most of what we have.

-> Conclusion

A flaw is a perception, not a condition. Accept your condition, be grateful for it so you can be happy with your condition. Instead of being frustrated with your condition, look around and appreciate what you have and also be grateful for that.